Archive for the ‘Manners’ Category


Alhamdulilah, alhamdulilah! My Lord is so good to us, He gives, He gives, and blesses us in so many ways its unbelievable!

I’ve been swamped- a good type of swamp, wherein I truly believe its Allah subhana wa tala answering my dua list from Ramadan. I’m attached to my dua list in Ramadan and throughout out the year and all of these things that Allah blessed me with is a result of Him choosing to bestow His mercy upon me! Ujeeboo dawati itha daan! Truly Allah did say, “call upon me and I will answer”. So thats the best part of the last couple months, busy, good type of busy, but not enough time to blog. So here are things that have been on my mind!

* If you leave the Quran, the Quran leaves you! Yes, it does. This is something really scary. I’m really big on memorization, beyond tafsir, tajweed, memorization gives me my Quran-eman fix. I don’t know how to describe, but truly combining all three is wonderful works for me! My heart rejoices. So a reminder to all of you out there, don’t let a day go by without reciting, reflecting, and looking in the book of Allah for directions, its a must. Because as time goes by your brain sort begins to rust, almost like cob-webs begins to set in, and in place of a reflective mind, and an eman filled heart, therein begins a deadness that is scary. This reminds me of the saying of the scholars “as the one who doesn’t have quran in their life, is like a ruined house”; how sad that is!

* I was a camp councelor for MYNA again, I love it! Its amazing, and life changing. Camp isn’t really different from what I do with the youth in my community (at least my role), but the activities/lectures I take part in are a bit different. The best way to be better Muslim is to really help others be better Muslims. I have a hadeeth on my wall that I try to live by everyday. “khayro naas man yanfa3o naas” “The best people are those who are of benefit to others” Not to say I’m the perfect Muslim, but helping out the youth, helping them reflect on the deen, and helping them to remember Allah in one way or another really makes my day.

* Teaching in the morning and working at the library really helps me reflect on all sorts of stuff! I’m currently reading “The Help” by Kathyryn Stockett, and I’ve had two things come to mind (Power of the prayer, shunning/mean girls). I was really moved by Aibileen (a black maid in 1962) desire to be close to God and her need/turning to God for everything in the book. Aibileen, though a christian reminded me of my connection with prayer/dua in Islam! This woman writes her own prayers, and this is something I totally relate to. I listened to a lecture once where the shaykh mentioned how we should make our duas personal/specific to Allah, so that we show Allah how weak we are, and of how much we are in need of Him, and our desire to have what we are asking for. I know its odd to think about this, but think about all the duas we’ve been making through out the years, (good health, good deen, etc.), do we ever change it up? Are we better people because of these duas? Have we changed because of them? I say be precise, get to the nity gritty details of what/and how we want something from Allah! This is something I found that worked for me! One of my favourite lines from the book that Aibleen says is ” Cause that’s the way prayer do. It’s like electricity, it keeps things going” Subhana’Allah, how true that is! Second part of this reflection is that of mean girls! Has anyone seen the movie ‘mean girls?” I have never but the gist of it is a bunch of mean girls causing havoc, and subhana’Allah one of the things my camp adviser said was how at times girls can beeeeee soooo viscous/so mean to each other, meaner than boys. Sometimes I see bits and peices of that in my first graders! Subhana’Allah! But anyway, in the story, Skeeter one of the main characters gets shunned by her ‘friends’ when she decides to try to change things up, and stand up for what is right; i.e equality/rights for humanity! Its a sad case though when Hilly, the head ‘mean girl’ shakes things up and turns everyone else against her. Its sad, and the author describes this when Skeeter is told by Aibileen of her being shunned ” I don’t care about any of that ole stuff, anyway. She kind a laugh and it hurts my heart. Cause everybody care. Black, white down we all do.” Its sad stuff, and personally I’ve been at the end of such situations before while I was young as well as an adult (Yeah, if your outspoken at times like me, you are bound to face some difficulty in this area), but subhana’Allah it really takes a strong will, a determination to stay firm in what you fully believe in, and a lot of dua! Its a road of self discovery as well and it really shows you what you are capable of as a person. I try to teach my first grade girls that things like this shouldn’t happen, and that they should be better people and shouldn’t treat each other this way! I really enjoyed this book overall! It reminds me of the Civil rights era, I always enjoyed learning about that era. I feel like its a part of my history as an immigrant to this country. It reminds me back in 6/7th grade when I read “The Watson go to Birmingham…” one of my favourite books, or the “To kill a mockingbird”… man these are really good books to teach in the classroom, I can’t wait to work with my middle Schoolers!

* When my Ipod battery dies in my car and I can’t listen to my Quran, I’m left to NPR lol. I like NPR, but I don’t like listening too much news, because it makes me sad. I listen to it to the point of just being ‘aware’, and cut it off when it passing towards the point of ‘too sad’. So this past week, while driving home from work, there were some recurring news… 4 nights in a row at least. Syrian issues, Pope having a meeting from members of the church from all of over the world for victims of paedophiles in the church… thats a mouth full, and It really made me sad. This is a case of religion/folks practising that religion gone really really wrong! I respect people of faith, but at times its really hard to listen to stuff like that and have an objective mind. Politics/ the run for office/Romney. All sorts of other stuff, Politics is interesting but I’m always sceptical of things that goes down in Politics.

Alhamdulilah, really busy days, but insha’Allah insha’Allah it is all things that Allah is pleased with. I pray that Allah alleviates our difficulties, and may these difficulties be a cause for us to grow closer to our Lord, the Mighty and Majestic!

Till next time, may we meet in the highest abode! Al Firdous Ala!



Alhamdulilah, all praise is due to Allah who Has has given us the ability to think and ponder!

Its early morning now and I’m heading out soon to attend to one of my halaqah’s of the day and insha’Allah another one later in the day. Today’s talk will be on manners in Islam! How important this topic and so embedded with talks of Aqeedah and Iman that one cannot live without it!

In preparing and thinking about things for my halaqah I’m reminded of a post one sister made on her a blog last weekend…found here:

In response to that I wrote:

Assalama ‘alaykum,

Awesome and much needed post. My friend and I were just having this same talk the other day. The Ummah is really in need of using hikmah and showing more mercy to its fellow muslims/non-muslims. People are so stuck with what they consider to be ‘right/wrong’ that they forget the bigger picture and overlook such things as mercy and kindness to their fellow human being. They are so stuck with ‘harm/halal’ ‘I think this, and you think that’ that the brother/sisterhood of Islam isn’t there. Subhana’Allah if people looked on the Prophet sal allahu sallam dealt with things they would understand that their thinking and ways of acting is what the prophet sal allahu sallam warned us against. I’m reminded of a saying…”Verily we are more in need of a little bit of good manners then we are a lot of knowledge” Knowledge is great, but I feel like people learn a few things in Islam or hold a certain view and they make go around passing judgement on people and making them all uncomfortable. Most people who do this feel like they have all the knowledge in the world and they are more knowledgeable then anyone and are free to pass judgement…when do we get to that level, the scholars of the past spent decades studying and they still considered themselves not fully learned, and look at us today, a person learns a ruling and they run with it without a backward thought of “could there be a difference of opinion on this” nope, its my way or the high for some. May Allah make us of those who ponder and think over our actions towards others, cause us to think, and use our hearts in dealing with people.

Till next time, may we meet in circle’s of remembrance!


Alhamdulilah, all praise is due to Allah who has blessed us with time.

Bullet format is the way I’ll go for this post, too many things to capture all at once.

* Time is so precious, so important, Allah subhana wa tala swears by it! Must use it wisely

* Quran memorization picked up again and going really well alhamdulilah. Surah Rum eases my heart! loves it, alhamdulilah.

* Learning to speak up more and speak my mind without thinking it will hurt others. Expressing how something makes me feel and expressing a simple “no” when something is just not my ‘cup of tea’. Being assertive without being mean and expressing what I feel is the healthy way for me.

* Teaching again..loves it! Both secular studies and Islamic studies (weekends). This is the stuff that made undergrad the best, the constant whirl wind of activities all tying back with to Allah’s remembrance makes me happy. I can’t imagine doing anything else in life beyond imparting what I know to little minds (bit minds more like it, as they teach me in the process!) . Its a joy to be around them, subhana’Allah!

*Distractions, sounds, all of it. This is one of the reasons why I left facebook. I am one of those people who are somewhat hermits, too much noise, too much of stuff just isn’t for me. Spiritually wise its also deadens me a bit in ways I can’t put to words …like there isn’t a lot of room for contemplations, to think, to ponder over the blessings Allah has provided for me, to the wonders all around me, I feel that I miss out on this just a bit when the aforementioned occurs.

*Finishing up a bunch of stuff I started up…
1.) Yaseen Lecture by AbdulNasir Jangda
2.) Alhuda lectures, listen, take notes
3.) Kitabu Tawheed lecture by shaykh Yasir Qadhi
4.) Story of the Ifk by Shaykh Yasir Qadhi
….a lot more stuff to add to list, but needs to look through blog.

* Loving the book search so far…I’ve got a couple in mind so far ” The alchemist” , “A child called it” etc. Just got done with Saturday school and soon to hit Barnes and noble for the Alchemist! Hurry

* Shawaal! Must getr done! Alhamdulilah, Oh Allah grant me the ability to benefit from this month, to continue the race and finish up strong! Allahuma Ameen!

* Dua: I recently read a wonderful post on MM about continuing in the deeds of Ramadan. The dua part is something that I think that I tend to slow down on for some odd reason and for many people too. Its like we rush to it with full force in Ramadan, and then right after its like ‘OK, I’ve done what I could’ and i think for me after Ramadan because of what I like to call ‘my Ramadan lull’ weird, odd, but still there. Dua especially, maybe its human nature but we think…I’ve asked, and now it should come asap, but thats not how dua works, thats now how Allah operates. We as servants are but servants, we do the asking, we wait and remain patient and have the yaqeen (certainity), that Allah azza wa jala will answer our dua according to His decree. So we shall not give up in our dua making, we will continue in this blessed journey.

(Post: )

Till next, may Allah bless our lives with meaningful activities.

ATaqwa wa husnul Quluq II

Posted: September 3, 2009 in Manners


I finally got a chance to finish Kamel El makki’s lecture on manners, and subhana’Allah the more I think about this topic, the more I realize we are all in need of such insight and focus on this topic in our life. I just kept thinking of how when someone adorns themselves with good manners, you are automatically drawn towards them, i.e you benefit from them in so many ways, and there is just an overall good feeling in being with those who exhibit good manners. May we all work and tweak our manners this month, and make it last not only for the upcoming year but for a lifetime, bithiniAllah. May Allah make us of those whose meezan is weighed heavy with such goodness; manners!


When you are waking up for something, when you want to change, and you want to, and you’ll do it.

Man-Bedouin comes to the prophet sal allahu sallam “ do not curse anyone” and he didn’t after that, he changed whatever wrong he was doing before.

If you want to work on your aqhlaaq, you are going to work on yourself.

The prophet sal allahu alayhi wa sallam is a mirror for the other believer, because one may see something that one doesn’t see in themselves. The prophet sal allahu salam said like a mirror…why?

1.) you get dressed up and you look in the mirror, you see you have a feather or something else, you try to fix it…do you get mad at the mirror for pointing out that flaw? No. The same should be the believer who points things out to us.
2.) The mirror showed it to you immediately, and you appreciate it.
3.) The mirror shows it to you as it is.
4.) You believe the mirror
5.) Shows you the good and the bad, doesn’t exaggerate. (note, when you give advice you start with the good)

Fudyal ibn iyad use to say the believer is one who conceals and gives advice, while a hypocrite embarrasses people.

It is advice from Allah-to give advice- surah asr. It is your business.

Allahuma ma ahsin qulqi kama ahssanta qhalqi (Islam is worried about internal appearances as well)

Good alqaaqh will rub off of you, bad aqlaaqh will rub off of you as well, even a little.



ATaqwa wa husnul Quluq

Posted: August 25, 2009 in Manners


After I got done listening to the lecture below, I thought about the saying I once heard, “Verily we are more in need of a little bit of good manners then we are to a lot of knowledge” Subhana’Allah, how important this aspect of our lives is. I ask Allah azza wa jala to make us of the likes of those who possess great manners and who display often.


Got Manners? – Kamal El Mekki – Part 1/6 to 3/6

In order for there to be mercy there has to be good aqlaaq.
The prophet sal allahu sallam sent as a mercy to mankind- aqlaaq.
The Prophet sal allahu sallam. “verily I was sent to perfect the most noblest of characters”

Omar r.a. would say I would rather sit with a well-mannered non-muslim then an ill-mannered muslim.

No one wants to sit with a ill mannered person, you just don’t want to spend time with that person.

Best of companions

Mother of Imam Malik, when she sent them to study with Rabi3 learn from his athaab/manners before you learn from His knowledge.

Some people learn a bit of knowledge, they go home, and go to people and just make them feel uncomfortable and miserable, because they are so rude.

That whole knowledge will not avail you, you can’t pass it onto people because you are so rude.

One of the students of Imam Malik stayed with him for 20 years, the student was brilliant and he captured all the knowledge in the first year, he stayed for 19 years..the rest of the 19 years he was learning from his manners, because he was an ocean of knowledge.

A Taqwa wa husnul Quluq; Taqwa (God conscious) and good manners- Jannah. Two top that lead to Jannah. Two top that lead to hell-fire -the mouth and private area.

The Prophet sal allahu sallam asked do you know who is the muflis-the bankrupt person? The companions replied it’s the one who has no money etc. The prophet sal allahu sallam it’s the one who comes on the day of judgment with a lot of good deeds but he has insulted this person, hit that person, and took the wealth of that person…they start to take from his good deeds. You end up paying others back.

When you do something against Allah He may forgive you, expiate for you in this life, but if you do something against someone they need to forgive you, or you need to seek forgiveness before you passed away, or they’ll take from your good deeds! Soon he’ll take all his good deeds, once that runs out and the person still owes, then you’ll take upon their bad deeds and then he’ll end up in the hell-fire.

The person goes through all these trails- death, trials of the grave, resurrection, standing in front of Allah azza wa jala, the siraat, ….and then he is placed into the hell-fire…all because of why? Bad aqlaaq, bad manners.
Aqlaaqh isn’t just an extra thing you add, its very very important.

Yahya ibn Muad use to say good deeds don’t compensate for bad manners, while good manners may compensate for bad deeds.

Heaviest on your scale are your good manners.

Good manners- like/same status achieved by the one who fasts/and establishes salaah.

The one near to the Prophet sal allahu sallam- ones described are…”the best of you are the ones best to your families “ all related to aqlaaq

The hadeeth of the guy staying over at the guys house because..The prophet sal allahu sallam said this person is of the people of paradise. He looked to see of the guy prayed extra, fasted, and the point was that he clears his heart-no issues, no problems with anyone -he gives everyone their rights.

This is an easy thing, before we go to bed, lets clear our hearts. Think about everyone/anyone that you are upset with and just forgive that person. The reward is so great and the deed is so simple.

In various parts of the Quran, Allah woulds say ‘Wa3foo wasfahoo‘-when you pardon someone you don’t retaliate. Wa3foo-is pardon,-you might forgive but bad feelings may remain, wasfaoo is deeper than pardon-safh is when you turn to the other side, and the issue doesn’t manner to you anymore and you completely forget about it. Higher level than the two, is when you pardon, turn the other side, and do you good to that person (Wallahu Yuhibul Muhsineen).

Are you born with good aqlaaq or can you attain good aqlaaq? Sometimes inherited- environment, but you can also acquire it. So many you try to advice them about their aqlaaq and they right it off as the way they are, that they don’t want to improve or make better.

Or someone people will say “I can say mean things to you at a meeting or something, and afterward we are friends again and we can eat out“. We have to uphold the same manners wherever we are, and whatever we are doing.

1.) We need to uphold the same manners all over.
2.) We need to be realistic and evaluate our manners wherever we are.


Lecture: [Youtube=]

Parts 4, 5, 6 to be continued.

dark woods